Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
