i dont even know how to be here
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize