To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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