How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
and you said cock pushups were impossible
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Randomize
