Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
where are you?
Hypothermia
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
