How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
