Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
