It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
