Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
