i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
