So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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