UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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