I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize