oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
