he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
tell your sister to shave her snatch
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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