So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
