I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So much rum. So many feels.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
