ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
