I'm gonna have a badass scar
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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