she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
