After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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