I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
