so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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