I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
