i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
