Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Randomize