nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
