i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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