Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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