Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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