I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
