I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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