we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
