oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The best revenge is premature balding
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
