I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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