There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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