I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize