sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
