Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
