Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
