I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
