Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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