So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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