just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
