i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
