i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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