i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
