I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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