dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
