'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
