Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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