ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He passed out mid-signature
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Pooping to opera.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
