hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
