Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
