I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Randomize
