About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
