Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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