I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
