i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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