just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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