He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
More tranny stories later!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
